Ask Uttara: How do I bow out of a friendship that isn't what it used to be -- largely because of differences in parenting styles?

Dearest Reader:  Well; as gracefully as possible. 

Know that it is okay to walk away from anyone who makes parenting more difficult.  It is hard enough without negative outer influences.  Whether we like it or not we tend to spend a lot of time with the parents of our children's friends and if we have a choice at all we should choose people who have similar values.

 

It could be the issues with parenting are just another symptom that the relationship has run its course.  We all “outgrow” some of the people we meet on our path through life.

First thing – NO guilt.  Second thing – tell the truth, but balance it with kindness.  There is a concept in yoga called “ahimsa” which means non-violence.  And not just no hitting or punching – it mean not intentionally causing harm physically, verbally and/or mentally.

You don’t necessarily have to tell the person straight up that you are leaving the relationship; but if they come out and ask, remember to balance being truthful with not being hurtful.  Greet invitations to spend time together with the simple response that other activities are absorbing your attention right now. 

Like anything, friendships require energy and as you begin to withdraw yours from the friendship it may naturally wither without any drama or discussion.

Be careful that anything you do choose say or express (or even think!) comes from a place of non-judgement.  You can choose to disagree with choices that others make and still not judge them – you are simply choosing not to align with them.  The intention and where you are coming from on the inside really matters.

I hope this answers your question.

Deepest blessings,

Jill